Making a Murderer: WTF??????

SPOILER ALERT: I am 2/3rds of the way through episode 7 of Making a Murderer. 

I have been watching Making a Murderer on Netflix all week and was about to explode if I didn't get this out.

Are these prosecutors out of their ever loving minds?  This is the most horrifically hilarious (or hilariously horrific?) high profile case since OJ and AJ Cowlings were on the phone with LAPD while driving down the 5. The absolute BEST part of this shitshow - and what prompted me to post about it - was the prosecution talking to the audience (or in this case, the jury) like they're 2 year olds while questioning the FBI's expert on EDTA. "OK now you lovely jury...the nice man up on the stand is going to talk to us about evidence! Yey!!!" I mean give me a BREAK - this is Broadway at its finest. I feel like I'm watching Inherit the Wind II: Fun with Blood Samples and DNA. They're literally WHISPERING...like you would when trying to get your point across to a toddler about making sure his crusts are cut off.

I am sorry - but I've sat through almost 7 full episodes and if Steven Avery isn't innocent, there is sure as shit something ELSE going on here. WHERE IS THE BLOOD IN THE HOUSE????  WHERE IS THE DNA IN THE HOUSE???  And they went back MONTHS LATER and HAPPENED UPON about four zillion bullets in the garage???  And WHERE ARE THE BLOOD SPATTERS IN THE GARAGE?? And for the love of all that's holy - THERE'S A HOLE IN THE offing BLOOD VILE STOPPER and all the TAPE HAS BEEN CUT AROUND THE BOX.

This would be COMICAL if it wasn't so outrageous.  And sad.  Very, very sad.

More later...

3 More Days 'Til BLACK SAILS on STARZ

Prayers for France

Poldark: My Latest Purgatory Obsession

VIKINGS: Okey Dokey Floki Dopey

SPOILER ALERT:  DO NOT read unless you have watched "Born Again" on season 2 of Vikings.  

I am so livid with Floki right now, I don't know what to do with myself.

I can't even look at this photo
without tearing up.  RIP Athelstan.

Athelstan - aka George Blagden - was my 2nd favorite character on Vikings, after Ragnar (duh.)

I should be reading this Hollywood Reporter article that includes an interview with George Blagden and series creator, Michael Hirst...but I am still so upset, I can't even bring myself to read it.  Let's just say I skimmed and got to a part where George is talking about the fact that Athelstan never knew he had a son...and I teared up and minimized the window.  Lordddddddd did I minimize the window.

I don't know WHAT they are thinking, killing Athelstan...and once I read the article, I'm sure I'll understand.

But for now, I'm content to hate Floki.  And love him like a crazy-assed brother.  And hate him some more.

My Purgatory's Favorite Spring TV Premieres

Looking forward to the following shows returning this spring/summer:

Call the Midwife 3/29
Outlander  4/4
Game of Thrones 4/12
Turn 4/13
Orange is the New Black 6/12

Right now I am watching: 

Vikings
Black Sails
The Walking Dead
House of Cards
Reign
Vampire Diaries

Thanks to Metacritic for the updates!

STARZ Today: 'Insurgent' actor Ray Stevenson boards Starz's 'Black Sails' as Blackbeard | EW.com

BEYOND THRILLED at THIS news!!!  TITUS POLLO!!!

Too bad the timeframe (early 18th century vs mid 18th century) precludes them from filming a "Very Special Black Sails" where they crossover with Outlander and get Ray Stevenson together with Tobias Menzies! ;)

Downton Abbey - Dog Day Afternoon

SPOILER ALERT:  Season 5,  Episode 7

HOT alert.  The cutiepie "I'm Jewish but I'm English" dude is a lovely addition to the show.  I hope he sticks around and married Rose.  I keep thinking Mary's going to steal him away, though.

Oh how I love when they trot the kids in.  Is that the only time the parents see them?  I think Mary forgot her kid's name this week.

Mary, you ignorant slut.  Now even TONY is all "Mary, you ignorant slut!"  I doubt he'll be pining away anymore now that she was making out with what'shisname at the moving pictures.  I have to laugh though...WHY does his EX fiance want him now?  She's going to be a terribly unhappily married woman if she takes him back.  That could be a storyline in and of itself.  Although she reminds me too much of that awful teacher who upset PaPA every week at dinner.  I'm glad they're both gone.

Has anyone noticed that Mary has no female friends?  It's quite humorous. And she thinks there's something wrong with Edith??  At least EDITH can work and play well with others!

SPEAKING of Edith...GREAT plan she and MaMA came up with, to bring little Marigold home to Downton.  The rest of us have just been saying that for...oh...I dunno...MONTHS?  Here's my question:  Why does Anna care so much?  Geez, honey.  Mind your OWN damned business...which is rather juicy in and of ITSELF these days, right???  You'd better hope to high heaven that Mary testifies for you and says she burned the train ticket.

I am LOVING this newer, gentler Thomas.  I hope he keeps it up.  I like him better when he's being nice, but you know there's something evil lurking just under the surface that he's desperately trying to keep hidden.

Gotta love how PaPA barely cared about Gregson dying, but he's lying on the floor with the dog.  And you know Cora is SO over the theatrics.

Poor Grandmama.  She was really sad about Mrs. Crawley's impending marriage...and she was very forthright and honest about it with Mary.  Hear hear.  Now that dinner with Larry went so badly (what a DICK!), I doubt she'll end up marrying that cute nobleman anyway.

OMG could Daisy's storyline BE any more boring?  No one cares, Daisy!  Either study - or don't!  And then STFU about it!

Same goes for Tom.  Either go - or stay - but stop skulking around threatening to leave...and just go!

Downton Abbey: Note-taking 101

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 6 episodes in Season 5.

Here are my (edited) notes as I watched this hilarious ep...

Edith - here is your telegram on a plate!  Gobble up this awful news with your eggs, dear.

MaMA is in bed.  Thank GOD baxter got her her breakfast so quickly and efficiently.

Well of course it's terible.  What did she think he was doing?  Living in a tree?  OMG MARY YOU BITCH.  "I don't know what he saw in Edith."  Bad karma blankets her life because she SUCKS.

How can Anna stand Mary when Anna is SO damned nice??

Edith is like....on an island at a table full of people.  No, FAMILY.  It's sickening.  Her mother should hold her hand.  Or get up and give her a hug.  SOMETHING.  It's just so sad.

Oh no.  Anticipation-filled Downton music.  This isn't good.  It's like when the Bradys played their regular music...slowwwwwly.

Why is this Russian man living in this disgusting room?  And HOW is the Dowager Countess visiting ALONE in his room??  "I wanted you form the moment i first saw you more than mortal men ever wanted women."  OMG Grandmama is getting some serious PLAY from Egor right now!!!

I am SICK that Gregson is dead.  Really dead.  I wanted him to be alive and show up and piss Mary off that Edith was married and she wasn't.

Poor Edith!!! Who gives a rat's ass about Mary's hair????

MR. BATES: Because you think I'm a murderer.  AND THERE IT IS!!!  Don't know if we should trust Mr. Bates or not, though.  I think Mrs. Hughes DID keep the ticket.  Is it torn???  We shall see.

What a cute little steeplechase.  It's like The Quiet Man.

Edith = Jan Brady.

Downton Abbey: Season 5 Premiere!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched S5, E1 "Fear, Fire, Foes."

Since I'm way behind, the following are my notes from the premiere.  They're almost funnier than a blog post!

Edith:  "Goodbye"...and totally ignores other kids.  Love that.

Grandmama: "There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like."

Mama is as medicated as ever!!!

Lady Mary:  "I'm going upstairs to take off my hat."  BEST LINE EVER! LIKE "the milk went bad when I was in jail" in Jackie Brown! 

Why didn't the servant serve Dr Clarkson? Can't he have some cake???

Papa Mama convo about Isabel and grandmama.  SO funny.  She's like "YOU DUMBASS, your mother's a beotch!"

Love, love, love _____ and _____ friendship!  They're such buds now! It's awesome!  (I have no idea who I was talking about here!!  Any guesses???) 

"She was so graphic, I almost fainted."  Oh poor Lady Mary!  The horror!

"Tony - do you MIND pulling up your own pants without a valet?" 

OMG DUCKFACE!!!!

"We're being realistic; something your generation has such trouble with." 

"Principles are like prayers; noble of course, but awkward at a party."

"How does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?"  GO MAMA that teacher woman is a bitch!  GOD I can't STAND HER!!!

LADY Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we're fine.  Really.  LOL!!!