Once Upon a Time: What a Hook Up!

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up in season 2 of Once Upon a Time. 

Dear Hook, you're hot.  Love, Carol

WHEN are they going to make this guy someone's love interest??  It's just completely wrong that we have to look at him every week and know that all he's going to do is be a prick and skulk around on his invisible boat.

And does anyone really care that Rumple killed his wife by ripping out her heart?  I don't.  It was pretty black and skanky and needed some spring cleaning. Oops.  Can't put it back.  Oh well.

And how about Mulan?  Wow she's such a bitch!  And that's right, sister...Belle can kill the snot out of those weird Ghost Busters-looking gatekeeper beasts and you can't!  So step OFF.

And bam!  There goes Rumple over the line but Hook, that beast, shoots Belle...and now she has no memory (I think?)  And that car from Pennsylvania hit Hook!  (LOL After growing up in PA, I found that slightly amusing.)  Maybe he'll HOOK up with one of the nurses.  Pun intended.

American Horror Story: Best. Episode. Ever!!!

SO MUCH STUFF to catch up on!!!

American Horror Story - the greatest episode EVER was on last week.  When they started dancing to the Name Game song, I thought I'd plotz right there on the couch.  Not only did Evan Peters dance...but he also smiled...which is not an often occurrence with that dude.

OMG how about Sister Mary Eunice rollin' on into the incinerator with Dr. Nazi Freak on top of her?!?  (James Cromwell is a god.)  Was that not one of the single most amazing shots EVER in the history of television shots?!?  I did NOT see that coming at all.

Predictions:  EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE.  LOL  Assuming the journalist is going to make it out since she gives birth to that train wreck, Dylan McDermott.  But what about Jude?  I love her.  I've loved her since Day 1 and I love her now.  Nun...ho...patient...it does...not...matter!  Jessica Lange just exudes cool!

That scary assed Doctor Psychopath  - aka Zachary Quinto - is so juicy this season, I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time they show his face, my skin crawls.  It's so ingenius to take the guy who brought you comfort during half the season and make him into the most frightening character on the show.  I think he's going to die a horrible death; I just don't know how it's going to go down.

Father Not-A-Virgin?  OMG I knew Joe Fiennes would be fantastic - and he is all that and more.  The man has absolutely mastered the art of being over-the-top in so many roles.  This...Flash Forward ("There's gonna be another blackout!!!)...Camelot....he's always above and beyond with the emotions...which is sick fun to watch.  I am almost hoping he gets romantic with poor, brain-zapped Sister Jude...before someone kills them both, take them into the woods and feed them to Mark Consuelos.

10PM tonight, y'all!!  Get ready!!

Hopelessly Finished Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT:  I have finished Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

Wow.  I am exhausted from reading this book.  I feel like I need a shower and about 8 hours of solid, mindless TV to wash it all away.

I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.  I'm a bit confused at all the 5 star ratings and wonder if all the bloggers in the acknowledgments are really giving their honest opinion?

Why only 3 stars?  Certainly not because of Colleen Hoover's writing; I enjoyed that immensely.  And not because of her characters; I found them to be well thought-out and likable.  Holder is a character you want to spend time with...although he gets a little too sweet toward the end and doesn't seem as real.  Sky is just like so many of us who question ourselves and those around us...but don't necessarily want to know the answers.  She's very endearing in that way.

So what's my deal?  Well...I felt like it was two different stories; two different books.  The first half is laden with googley eyes about each other when you're in high school.  Don't get me wrong - I usually enjoy the sappy first love stuff...but it's a slippery slope.  You can overdo it and end up rubbing your readers the wrong way.  (Pun intended; nice grinding scene!  Wow.)  I liked the angst when it came to things like Holder getting upset over the bracelet...or leaving her house and not coming back...etc etc...but then things would seem to draw out a bit too long and I'd start losing interest until the next crisis.

One absolute joy in this book?  Breckin.  More, more, give me more.  I'd like a series just about him.  I totally want to go back to high school and look for the guy wearing bright pink shoes.  Only I went to Catholic school and you got demerits for that sort of thing.  I should know, I once got demerits for wearing a yellow sweater in homeroom.  But I digress.

OK - so - on to the 2nd half (or last third, I should say).  All the sudden you find yourself on this roller coaster ride and it's truly compelling...but you're thinking "Wait - wasn't I reading a lovely little story about young love?  How does child rape fit into this?"  And don't get me wrong - the last 3rd is truly interesting and riveting and upsetting...all at once.  All things that make for an outstanding story.  But I felt like I was a bit shell shocked and had a hard time switching gears.

Now...please don't misunderstand me.  I think Colleen Hoover is a damn good writer in that she's perfectly worded (no bad comparisons of someone's eyes to a rooftop...lordddddd) and her words flow exceptionally well.  I am looking forward to reading her New York Times Bestsellers, "Slammed " and "Point of Retreat " (aka girlfriend knows what she's doing.)

So - my overall synopsis?  I wish Hopeless were two books.  That way, I could recommend the first to my nieces in high school...and the 2nd to my book club.  If I had a book club, that is.  I used to, but I left because they only read horribly sad stories about things like child rape.  So you get my drift.  Maybe I just didn't like the subject matter of the last third of the story - even though it was thoroughly engaging and told with an abundance of tact and grace.

Really looking forward to a (friendly) discussion on this...so by all means, comment away!!

Hope + Less = Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT: I am 5 pages into Oct 27th at 8:20 PM in HOPELESS.

Holy CRAP. This book has gotten interesting. Homeboy says "I love you, Hope" and Sky just called him out on it. And he's blatantly LYING to her by saying he never dated anyone named Hope because the color just drained out of his face when she said the name and he kindof freaked for a second about it. SHIT. WHAT is his damage???

And now I'm starting to wonder about the tattoo. HOPEless. Like he's without HOPE. As in a chickski...and not just the feeling. Shit, shit, shit. I am terrified for Sky right now. Especially after the freak out in the beginning of the book. Shit shit shit!

And I know we're going to find out she was abused...and the whole story about her mom dying and her dad not being able to take care of her is a big, ol' LIE. I bet Karen really IS her mom and she had to kick the dad out. But who gave her the bracelet???

And I have this horrendous fear nagging at me...like we're going to find out she and Holder are related or something. Just like that Matt Dillon movie where they found out they were brother and sister...but they really weren't. UGH. Now THAT is some serious angst.

And I agree with Hildy. I think Karen's against the internet / phone / tv for a reason. Like she's in hiding with her daughter. But why would she leave her alone when she goes to flea markets? So that throws a wrench in my elaboration of Hildy's theory.
Crap! Gotta go read!!!

PS - Wait. Holder's got this thing about the word "hope". Maybe that's how he thinks of Sky? As his "hope" that's coming back? So maybe he was telling SKY he loved her?

OK no more theories. I have to KNOW!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hopeless, Party of Sky?

SPOILER ALERT - It's Friday, September 28 in Hopeless.

SKY, you ignorant non-slut. HOW can you not realize that Holder is wondering if the rumors are true? Hell - make something up about the damned bracelet if you don't want to tell him the truth. But don't sit there and not tell him anything! Sheesh. You are such a ding dong sometimes.

All she had to do was say "I'll tell you later and no, it's not from a guy." Would that have been so hard? HE is as stubborn as YOU, you dumbass. GET in this game! I'M in the game...HOLDER is in the game...HILDY has FINISHED the game..and you, SKY, are just pussyfooting around (haven't you always wanted to use pussyfoot in a sentence?) and NOT getting in the damned game.

WAKE UP.

PS - What was with the grinding? I have one word for you: Chafed.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Amazon Deal of the Day: On The Island

AWESOME DEAL!  Tracey Garvis Graves'  On The Island is the Amazon Deal of the Day at $1.99!!!  It's a steal!!

Hopeless or Clueless?

SPOILER ALERT: It's August 28th maybe? Or at least it's early on in Day 2 of school for Sky in HOPELESS.

OK - Have to blog about this book again for some strange reason. Just got to a cute little scene where Holder walks into class after dropping out of school...and Sky knows she obviously talked him into going back.

If I were 17, I'd be completely clueless and wondering what's going on. But because I'm 4-...well...um...not 17, I know full well what's going on. Sky is judging the snot outta Holder...because she's heard rumors about him...when she's in no position to be judging anyone, since there are rumors galore about her non-slutty, slutty ass.

Maybe if she had TV and the internet, she'd be a little less clueless to the ways of the world. Just sayin'.

Meanwhile, what's with Mr. Hand being such a complete douche? I don't blame Holder for getting up and being confident. Perhaps he should have ordered a pizza.

PS - I love Breckin to pieces.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hoping Hopeless isn't Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT:  I am starting chapter 2 in Hopeless by Colleen Hoover.

Oh boy.  Started Hopeless by Colleen Hoover.  I am a chapter in - and realize I can't make much of a judgement...except...

It's somewhat fluffy and high schoolish so far.  (Says the girl who got into blogging whilst reading Twilight.)  To the point where I'm thinking "Oh please tell me all those great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads weren't from 17 year olds.  (NOT that there's anything wrong with 17 year olds!  I'm just further from 17 than I would like.)  BUT - it's actually got a 17+ rating from Amazon...due to its adult nature!!

Lots of girl talk and sneaking boys in the window...and chatting with our over-protective, under-protective, home-schooling mom.

I'll keep you posted.  Something tells me I'm going to be changing my tune real fast.

Vampire Diaries: A Very Special Holiday Spectacular

OK - sitting here watching Vampire Diaries and thinking "HOW did I miss the fact that yet another show was NEW this week?!"  Thank God for my DVR!!!  I thought this AND American Horror story were on hiatus!  SWEET!"

Even my cro-magnon
head is all sorts-a-hawt.

Oooh hot scene with Damon and Elenabeotch.  He's adorable now that he's adorable.  Although sometimes he looks like a drac from Enemy Mine.  That forehead!  I literally just heard myself say:  "Whoa.  Look at his Cro Magnon head."

OK...yada yada...Stefan and Klaus are bonding but not really...yada yada Caroline is mad that Tyler's going to encase his body in cement like Hoffa...yada yada gratuitous Steve McQueen tank top shot...YOWSA that kid is smokin'.

Nice move Jer!  He almost had her!!  Just a few micro seconds quicker with that knife and Elenabeotch would have gone DOWN!!!!

OH geez now Caroline is bitching at Stefan (what else is new?) to get Klaus' sword before Tyler-and-his-hybrids take him down.

UGH Winter Wonderland.  Does Caroline EVER do ANYTHING but run fund-raisers and cotillions?!

Oh SHIT - Caroline and Klaus!  Shhhh!  Be right back!  I can't talk when they're making nice nice together.  Chills.

Sighhhhh.  I'm back.  I LOVE those two.  "The suspense is terrible!  I hope it will last."

Is anyone NOT just counting the
hours until they kill me off?

OMG is it me or is this man-witch-non-witch a pain in the ASS?  I don't like him at ALL.  I don't think I'm supposed to, either...so maybe they'll kill him soon.  He's like one of those stupid maenads from the Sookie Stackhouse novels aka True Blood.

ZZZZZ...this is the point in the ep where I get bored.  Caroline is locked up with Stefan (lucky girl) and a bunch of hybrids.  Witchy man just told Damon and Elenabeotch that they don't need Klaus' sword; they just have to dig up some dude named Silus (is it me or does that name sound indicative of a hawt fella?)

OK so Thursday, January 17th.  That's when we find out WHAT kind of mental ass-whooping Stefan's going to give Elenabeotch when she gets back from the lake house.  She's skippin' her non-sired ass home to him and he's gonna tell her to git GOING on her merry ass way.  Oooooh I cannot TELL you how excited I am for that. (((claps hands like a 4 year old on a pony ride)))

And what's up with that cute little girl who actually really IS in high school?  She is going to wake Rebecca which RULES because I love Rebecca and her misunderstood bitchiness.

Awww shucks.
I lasted a long time, no?

And poor Tyler's mom.  Geez - was she the LAST adult to go?  Now it's just a bunch of teens running around...a la iCarly!

And we all knew that bitchy hybrid was going to sell Tyler out to Klaus.  Frankly I was kindof happy as those whiny hybrids were getting on my last nerve.

OK I've waxed on enough for one evening.  WHAT a great episode to stumble upon when I thought it wasn't even going to be new!!!

The Walking Dead: Mid Season Finale? Why?! Are they Cleaning up the Fish Tanks?

I know, right?!

Ugh.  One week later and I still can barely bring myself to blog about The Walking Dead.  WTF is up with a mid-season finale?  I HATE that.  WHAT am I supposed to watch NOW?  And when it comes back in February, it'll seem reallyyyyyy short since it'll only be 8 episodes.  Do they not know my life revolves around them and their walkers?!

<---And by the way - I totally ganked this from searching Mid Season Finale and coming upon this page on Tumblr.

Watching this shit is better than American Idol!

OK - let's get this show on the road.  The Governor.  What is my PROBLEM with this guy?  I can't help but LOVE HIM.  And he's DISGUSTING!! Heads in fishtanks?  His daughter in the closet?  WHO keeps his walker-daughter in the closet, in chains with a bag over her head?  Seriously.  And he thinks he's being humane?  Dude.  That's NOT your daughter.  So let the poor thing go.

THAT is what I love about this show.  It's so powerful.  It makes you think.  It's controversial.  What would any of us do in that situation?  Like, when Carl shot his mom, who wasn't really his mom, but a soon-to-be walker.  What a horrible decision to have to make!

OK I'm being wayyyyy too serious...so let's move on.  ("Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep.")

Exactly how do you
brine those chops?

Andrea.  Girlfriend KNOWS that strange things are afoot at the Circle K...and yet she continues to skulk around, aimlessly...enjoying her newfound calm.  And you know what?  You'd better BELIEVE my ass would be doing the EXACT same thing!  I'd be all "Ohhhh...things seem a bit odd...but no one's killing me and the Governor's pork chops are so tender" (in more ways than one.)  Why look a gifthorse in the mouth...even when the gifthorse is sooo not on the up-and-up.  That's what I'd be thinking.

And Michonne.  Ooooh girllll...you are in TROUBLE now!  You killed the Governor's dead-walker-zombie-daughter!  And you unleashed his teeth-chomping heads!  If the Governor doesn't get you, the walkers will!  Talk about a foot in both worlds!

OK so a few things...

• Glen and Maggie.  Glad they're free but WOW did Daryl pay the price.  Do we think Andrea is going to step up and do the right thing on his behalf?

• Those new people?  Who the frig are they?  Get out, y'all!  Go find your own prison full of rotting zombie corpses!  We called dibs on this one!

Shall I shoot you?  Or maybe you'd like
me to use my weird wrist knife, instead?

• Merle.  Now that they hate him, he's going to be living with us again over at the jail.  What kind of nasty-ass shiz is he going to be pulling over there?  NOT a good situation...but tasty as hell as storylines go. 

That's it for now.  I have to go cry some more about having NOTHING to watch tonight!!!