Downton Abbey - Dog Day Afternoon

SPOILER ALERT:  Season 5,  Episode 7

HOT alert.  The cutiepie "I'm Jewish but I'm English" dude is a lovely addition to the show.  I hope he sticks around and married Rose.  I keep thinking Mary's going to steal him away, though.

Oh how I love when they trot the kids in.  Is that the only time the parents see them?  I think Mary forgot her kid's name this week.

Mary, you ignorant slut.  Now even TONY is all "Mary, you ignorant slut!"  I doubt he'll be pining away anymore now that she was making out with what'shisname at the moving pictures.  I have to laugh though...WHY does his EX fiance want him now?  She's going to be a terribly unhappily married woman if she takes him back.  That could be a storyline in and of itself.  Although she reminds me too much of that awful teacher who upset PaPA every week at dinner.  I'm glad they're both gone.

Has anyone noticed that Mary has no female friends?  It's quite humorous. And she thinks there's something wrong with Edith??  At least EDITH can work and play well with others!

SPEAKING of Edith...GREAT plan she and MaMA came up with, to bring little Marigold home to Downton.  The rest of us have just been saying that for...oh...I dunno...MONTHS?  Here's my question:  Why does Anna care so much?  Geez, honey.  Mind your OWN damned business...which is rather juicy in and of ITSELF these days, right???  You'd better hope to high heaven that Mary testifies for you and says she burned the train ticket.

I am LOVING this newer, gentler Thomas.  I hope he keeps it up.  I like him better when he's being nice, but you know there's something evil lurking just under the surface that he's desperately trying to keep hidden.

Gotta love how PaPA barely cared about Gregson dying, but he's lying on the floor with the dog.  And you know Cora is SO over the theatrics.

Poor Grandmama.  She was really sad about Mrs. Crawley's impending marriage...and she was very forthright and honest about it with Mary.  Hear hear.  Now that dinner with Larry went so badly (what a DICK!), I doubt she'll end up marrying that cute nobleman anyway.

OMG could Daisy's storyline BE any more boring?  No one cares, Daisy!  Either study - or don't!  And then STFU about it!

Same goes for Tom.  Either go - or stay - but stop skulking around threatening to leave...and just go!

Downton Abbey: Note-taking 101

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 6 episodes in Season 5.

Here are my (edited) notes as I watched this hilarious ep...

Edith - here is your telegram on a plate!  Gobble up this awful news with your eggs, dear.

MaMA is in bed.  Thank GOD baxter got her her breakfast so quickly and efficiently.

Well of course it's terible.  What did she think he was doing?  Living in a tree?  OMG MARY YOU BITCH.  "I don't know what he saw in Edith."  Bad karma blankets her life because she SUCKS.

How can Anna stand Mary when Anna is SO damned nice??

Edith is like....on an island at a table full of people.  No, FAMILY.  It's sickening.  Her mother should hold her hand.  Or get up and give her a hug.  SOMETHING.  It's just so sad.

Oh no.  Anticipation-filled Downton music.  This isn't good.  It's like when the Bradys played their regular music...slowwwwwly.

Why is this Russian man living in this disgusting room?  And HOW is the Dowager Countess visiting ALONE in his room??  "I wanted you form the moment i first saw you more than mortal men ever wanted women."  OMG Grandmama is getting some serious PLAY from Egor right now!!!

I am SICK that Gregson is dead.  Really dead.  I wanted him to be alive and show up and piss Mary off that Edith was married and she wasn't.

Poor Edith!!! Who gives a rat's ass about Mary's hair????

MR. BATES: Because you think I'm a murderer.  AND THERE IT IS!!!  Don't know if we should trust Mr. Bates or not, though.  I think Mrs. Hughes DID keep the ticket.  Is it torn???  We shall see.

What a cute little steeplechase.  It's like The Quiet Man.

Edith = Jan Brady.

Downton Abbey: Season 5 Premiere!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched S5, E1 "Fear, Fire, Foes."

Since I'm way behind, the following are my notes from the premiere.  They're almost funnier than a blog post!

Edith:  "Goodbye"...and totally ignores other kids.  Love that.

Grandmama: "There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like."

Mama is as medicated as ever!!!

Lady Mary:  "I'm going upstairs to take off my hat."  BEST LINE EVER! LIKE "the milk went bad when I was in jail" in Jackie Brown! 

Why didn't the servant serve Dr Clarkson? Can't he have some cake???

Papa Mama convo about Isabel and grandmama.  SO funny.  She's like "YOU DUMBASS, your mother's a beotch!"

Love, love, love _____ and _____ friendship!  They're such buds now! It's awesome!  (I have no idea who I was talking about here!!  Any guesses???) 

"She was so graphic, I almost fainted."  Oh poor Lady Mary!  The horror!

"Tony - do you MIND pulling up your own pants without a valet?" 

OMG DUCKFACE!!!!

"We're being realistic; something your generation has such trouble with." 

"Principles are like prayers; noble of course, but awkward at a party."

"How does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?"  GO MAMA that teacher woman is a bitch!  GOD I can't STAND HER!!!

LADY Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we're fine.  Really.  LOL!!!

Reign: The Creepy and the Cray Cray

Spoiler Alert:  Season 2 - Ep 7: The Prince of the Blood

Mary, I can't figure out whether I love you, or want to
take all your clothes and give them to the homeless.

Why isn't Francis just having Narcisse killed?  This is borderline ridiculous. Be a king, dude. Hell - he should have Bash do it.  AND - speaking of Bash...lordddddd give this guy a better storyline.  He's a solid actor...he's freakin' adorbs...he's Francis' brother for god's sake.  Geez.

Oooh LOVE Narcisse's commentary to Lola on the horse.  She is going to give in eventually...if she has a brain in her head! ;)

OMG HOW long are we oging to have to watch Francis and Mary bicker? This is so stupid.

And someone please explain to me...if Francis signed an edict..and they're hunting protestants, how is Conde running around freely and chit chatting with one and all?  He's a protestat. (And has some major hots for Mary, I might add!)

Hey Ma...want to up the
creep factor 'round here? 

Oooh this storyline with the little girls is creepy as all hell!  I love it!  But so sad! Way too sad for
Reign! :(  And Claude, yo.  M'girl is a little cray cray.

Hello? Does anyone even realize Bash has been shot with an arrow?  I love how it looks like he's dying while he's on the leaves...but then he's just got a teeny hole in his chest and is up and about like he's about to run a marathon five minutes later.  Lucky Kenna got a good...what?...1 minute appearance?  I guess that's more than I can say for Greer and the grey haired Sean Penn doppleganger she's married to.

OMG Francis you dumbass...just TELL Mary WTF is going on!  She's not a china doll for god's sake!  She can handle the situation a lot better if she knows what Narcisse is up to.  And again - why he's still alive is beyond me...other than the fact that he's got an evil, sinister HOTness about him that makes me want them to keep him on the show.

And m'girl Lola better get her hand OFF Francis' shoulder and KEEP it off.  Just go do Narcisse like you've wanted to ever since you read that stupid book, ya ho bag.

Vampire Diaries: Friendsgiving

SPOILER ALERT: Friendsgiving y'all. Season 6. 

Um...wha?? Did the guys just say Caroline slept with Damon??  Man they really rehash all the good shit while they're avoiding Friendsgiving!

Speaking of Friendsgiving...soooo much to say.  First of all...why is Alaric's not really but kindof girlfriend there if Alaric isn't?  Oooh bitchy witch JUST voiced that eXACT opinion!  BUT - why is SHE there? I mean, I know she's with Tyler...but still.  She's new and should shut her bitchy mouth. I dig Alaric's new kindof girlfriend and she kicked ASS on Prison Break...so blondie can just shut her curly-haired pie hole.

Oh NOW we're getting to the good stuff.  Kai and Alaric's kindof girlfriend are brother and sister.  And they're also brother and sister to the twins.

Ohhhhh...NOW we know why blondie's such a bitch!  She has to combine her power with her brother (wonder twin powers...ACTIVATE!) and then he'll die since he's the weaker of the two of them.  Well...frankly...I don't care WHAT her dumbass problem is; bitch was mean to Caroline!  WRONG way to be. I love that kooky vamp chick!

Uh oh...she's confessing to Tyler.  And since Tyler loves hisself some homegrown drama, he'll be all over her in seconds.

WHOA.  This is some DEEP SHIZ going on tonight.  Kai just stabbed Bonnie!  Luckily Alaric's Kindof girlfriend - aka JO - lived because Elena saved her.  LOL Damon JUST SAID what I've been saying; Joe has known Alaric for 3 days. LOL!

OMG Damon and Elena sitting at that bar together?? Heart...mush...wow.  I almost hope he brings Bonnie back and then dumps Elena's whiny ass. ;)

Black Sails Season 2: Flint is BACK!

Do NOT...mess with Flint.  Word. 

I have had zero clue what is going on since last week's season 2 premiere started.  But I do know one thing;

FLINT IS BACK, BABY.

You dumbass accountant moron.  Did you really think you could captain that ship?  ANY ship?  With FLINT on board??  Stick to taxes, little man.  Be a big shot in the financial world and leave the commandeering to Flint.

Penny Dreadful Season 2 TRAILER!!!

They're Baaaackkkkk!

Reign: THIS...is Getting Good.

SPOILER ALERT:  I have seen through Season 2: Episode 4!

Watching tonight's episode of Reign and ooooh wheee!  THIS is the episode I've been waiting for since last season!!!

Mary and Lola are FINALLY having it out!!  It is ABOUT friggin TIME!!!  What BULLSHIT to think that these two would have been able to continue being besties and lunch in the garden together when Mary has got to be SEETHING about Lola sleeping with Francis!!  AND AND AND...Lola is completely OUT-OF-LINE right now.  How DARE she treat Mary like she's a bitchy royal who steps on everyone????  Mary has treated her like GOLD ever since she found out Lola was pregnant with Francis's child and THIS is how Lola repays her???  Mary LET Lola stay at the castle...she LET Lola raise that kid so close to Francis...Hell, she's LETTING them give the kid a friggin PARTY to introduce him to society!!!  And Lola's all "Wahhh wahhhh wahhhh...Help my friendddd...she had one moment of weakness wahhhhh."  OMG Lola is on my LAST nerve and better CHECK HERSELF.

A few things:

Mary's pregnant!!! How awesome is that???  She and Francis actually looked like they were HAPPY for five minutes when they were getting all cutesy out on the green.  Let's hope it will last.

HOW hilarious was Catherine when she barged into Mary and Francis' quarters???  OMG I love that woman.  She makes this show the dramedy it is!

Bash is friggin HOT.  I took one look at this video and realized I have been missing the true hottie on this show!!!

Greer is a dumbass.  Just hook up with Leif and call it a day!  Boyfriend is hot and digs you immensely.  WHAT is the problem??  The rich, curly haired Sean Penn look alike will get over it.  Maybe he can marry Lola.

OMG Mary is going to be the godmother of Lola's kid?  THAT is a creepfest.

Awww poor Mary.  I think I kindof knew that baby was not to be.  See the aforementioned "hope it will last" comments for clarification.  (And not to be gross...but I was salivating over her stained pink shoes when she retired to her chamber.  Hey.  A girl can't help it when it comes to great shoes!)

Looking forward to next week!!

Reign: Lordddd the Yawns.

SPOILER ALERT: I've watched the first two episodes in season 2. 

Not happy so far...but I'm holding out hope that things will go back to the way they used to be; deliciously ridiculous.  I think the writers have done a complete180 after only one season...and I don't know why.  It seems like they're trying to beef up their (horrifyingly inaccurate) historical side while squelching their fun, playful, who-can-we-hook-up-with-each-other-this-week side.  And the thing that kills me most of all is Mary and Francis.  I adored them last year...but now they're like this old, married couple who don't even like each other half the time.  And GEEZ, people...how about letting Mary SMILE once in a while??  Can't she and Bash get drunk and make out or something?

And PS - Makeup and Hair department...please, for the love of god, do something with Toby Regbo's hair.  He was gorgeous last season...he is still gorgeous...but now he looks like Little Boy Blue.  I'm a curly girl, myself...so I know of what I speak when I say STRAIGHTEN THE FRONT and STOP with the Dorothy Hamill meets Florence Henderson look.  Please.  If the storyline doesn't have to be historically accurate, poor Francis' hair doesn't, either.

That's enough for now.  Lordddddddd...that is enough!