Downton Abbey: Season 5 Premiere!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched S5, E1 "Fear, Fire, Foes."

Since I'm way behind, the following are my notes from the premiere.  They're almost funnier than a blog post!

Edith:  "Goodbye"...and totally ignores other kids.  Love that.

Grandmama: "There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like."

Mama is as medicated as ever!!!

Lady Mary:  "I'm going upstairs to take off my hat."  BEST LINE EVER! LIKE "the milk went bad when I was in jail" in Jackie Brown! 

Why didn't the servant serve Dr Clarkson? Can't he have some cake???

Papa Mama convo about Isabel and grandmama.  SO funny.  She's like "YOU DUMBASS, your mother's a beotch!"

Love, love, love _____ and _____ friendship!  They're such buds now! It's awesome!  (I have no idea who I was talking about here!!  Any guesses???) 

"She was so graphic, I almost fainted."  Oh poor Lady Mary!  The horror!

"Tony - do you MIND pulling up your own pants without a valet?" 

OMG DUCKFACE!!!!

"We're being realistic; something your generation has such trouble with." 

"Principles are like prayers; noble of course, but awkward at a party."

"How does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?"  GO MAMA that teacher woman is a bitch!  GOD I can't STAND HER!!!

LADY Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we're fine.  Really.  LOL!!!

Reign: The Creepy and the Cray Cray

Spoiler Alert:  Season 2 - Ep 7: The Prince of the Blood

Mary, I can't figure out whether I love you, or want to
take all your clothes and give them to the homeless.

Why isn't Francis just having Narcisse killed?  This is borderline ridiculous. Be a king, dude. Hell - he should have Bash do it.  AND - speaking of Bash...lordddddd give this guy a better storyline.  He's a solid actor...he's freakin' adorbs...he's Francis' brother for god's sake.  Geez.

Oooh LOVE Narcisse's commentary to Lola on the horse.  She is going to give in eventually...if she has a brain in her head! ;)

OMG HOW long are we oging to have to watch Francis and Mary bicker? This is so stupid.

And someone please explain to me...if Francis signed an edict..and they're hunting protestants, how is Conde running around freely and chit chatting with one and all?  He's a protestat. (And has some major hots for Mary, I might add!)

Hey Ma...want to up the
creep factor 'round here? 

Oooh this storyline with the little girls is creepy as all hell!  I love it!  But so sad! Way too sad for
Reign! :(  And Claude, yo.  M'girl is a little cray cray.

Hello? Does anyone even realize Bash has been shot with an arrow?  I love how it looks like he's dying while he's on the leaves...but then he's just got a teeny hole in his chest and is up and about like he's about to run a marathon five minutes later.  Lucky Kenna got a good...what?...1 minute appearance?  I guess that's more than I can say for Greer and the grey haired Sean Penn doppleganger she's married to.

OMG Francis you dumbass...just TELL Mary WTF is going on!  She's not a china doll for god's sake!  She can handle the situation a lot better if she knows what Narcisse is up to.  And again - why he's still alive is beyond me...other than the fact that he's got an evil, sinister HOTness about him that makes me want them to keep him on the show.

And m'girl Lola better get her hand OFF Francis' shoulder and KEEP it off.  Just go do Narcisse like you've wanted to ever since you read that stupid book, ya ho bag.

Vampire Diaries: Friendsgiving

SPOILER ALERT: Friendsgiving y'all. Season 6. 

Um...wha?? Did the guys just say Caroline slept with Damon??  Man they really rehash all the good shit while they're avoiding Friendsgiving!

Speaking of Friendsgiving...soooo much to say.  First of all...why is Alaric's not really but kindof girlfriend there if Alaric isn't?  Oooh bitchy witch JUST voiced that eXACT opinion!  BUT - why is SHE there? I mean, I know she's with Tyler...but still.  She's new and should shut her bitchy mouth. I dig Alaric's new kindof girlfriend and she kicked ASS on Prison Break...so blondie can just shut her curly-haired pie hole.

Oh NOW we're getting to the good stuff.  Kai and Alaric's kindof girlfriend are brother and sister.  And they're also brother and sister to the twins.

Ohhhhh...NOW we know why blondie's such a bitch!  She has to combine her power with her brother (wonder twin powers...ACTIVATE!) and then he'll die since he's the weaker of the two of them.  Well...frankly...I don't care WHAT her dumbass problem is; bitch was mean to Caroline!  WRONG way to be. I love that kooky vamp chick!

Uh oh...she's confessing to Tyler.  And since Tyler loves hisself some homegrown drama, he'll be all over her in seconds.

WHOA.  This is some DEEP SHIZ going on tonight.  Kai just stabbed Bonnie!  Luckily Alaric's Kindof girlfriend - aka JO - lived because Elena saved her.  LOL Damon JUST SAID what I've been saying; Joe has known Alaric for 3 days. LOL!

OMG Damon and Elena sitting at that bar together?? Heart...mush...wow.  I almost hope he brings Bonnie back and then dumps Elena's whiny ass. ;)

Black Sails Season 2: Flint is BACK!

Do NOT...mess with Flint.  Word. 

I have had zero clue what is going on since last week's season 2 premiere started.  But I do know one thing;

FLINT IS BACK, BABY.

You dumbass accountant moron.  Did you really think you could captain that ship?  ANY ship?  With FLINT on board??  Stick to taxes, little man.  Be a big shot in the financial world and leave the commandeering to Flint.

Penny Dreadful Season 2 TRAILER!!!

They're Baaaackkkkk!

Reign: THIS...is Getting Good.

SPOILER ALERT:  I have seen through Season 2: Episode 4!

Watching tonight's episode of Reign and ooooh wheee!  THIS is the episode I've been waiting for since last season!!!

Mary and Lola are FINALLY having it out!!  It is ABOUT friggin TIME!!!  What BULLSHIT to think that these two would have been able to continue being besties and lunch in the garden together when Mary has got to be SEETHING about Lola sleeping with Francis!!  AND AND AND...Lola is completely OUT-OF-LINE right now.  How DARE she treat Mary like she's a bitchy royal who steps on everyone????  Mary has treated her like GOLD ever since she found out Lola was pregnant with Francis's child and THIS is how Lola repays her???  Mary LET Lola stay at the castle...she LET Lola raise that kid so close to Francis...Hell, she's LETTING them give the kid a friggin PARTY to introduce him to society!!!  And Lola's all "Wahhh wahhhh wahhhh...Help my friendddd...she had one moment of weakness wahhhhh."  OMG Lola is on my LAST nerve and better CHECK HERSELF.

A few things:

Mary's pregnant!!! How awesome is that???  She and Francis actually looked like they were HAPPY for five minutes when they were getting all cutesy out on the green.  Let's hope it will last.

HOW hilarious was Catherine when she barged into Mary and Francis' quarters???  OMG I love that woman.  She makes this show the dramedy it is!

Bash is friggin HOT.  I took one look at this video and realized I have been missing the true hottie on this show!!!

Greer is a dumbass.  Just hook up with Leif and call it a day!  Boyfriend is hot and digs you immensely.  WHAT is the problem??  The rich, curly haired Sean Penn look alike will get over it.  Maybe he can marry Lola.

OMG Mary is going to be the godmother of Lola's kid?  THAT is a creepfest.

Awww poor Mary.  I think I kindof knew that baby was not to be.  See the aforementioned "hope it will last" comments for clarification.  (And not to be gross...but I was salivating over her stained pink shoes when she retired to her chamber.  Hey.  A girl can't help it when it comes to great shoes!)

Looking forward to next week!!

Reign: Lordddd the Yawns.

SPOILER ALERT: I've watched the first two episodes in season 2. 

Not happy so far...but I'm holding out hope that things will go back to the way they used to be; deliciously ridiculous.  I think the writers have done a complete180 after only one season...and I don't know why.  It seems like they're trying to beef up their (horrifyingly inaccurate) historical side while squelching their fun, playful, who-can-we-hook-up-with-each-other-this-week side.  And the thing that kills me most of all is Mary and Francis.  I adored them last year...but now they're like this old, married couple who don't even like each other half the time.  And GEEZ, people...how about letting Mary SMILE once in a while??  Can't she and Bash get drunk and make out or something?

And PS - Makeup and Hair department...please, for the love of god, do something with Toby Regbo's hair.  He was gorgeous last season...he is still gorgeous...but now he looks like Little Boy Blue.  I'm a curly girl, myself...so I know of what I speak when I say STRAIGHTEN THE FRONT and STOP with the Dorothy Hamill meets Florence Henderson look.  Please.  If the storyline doesn't have to be historically accurate, poor Francis' hair doesn't, either.

That's enough for now.  Lordddddddd...that is enough!

Vampire Diaries

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm 2 eps into season 6 of Vampire Diaries.

Oooh Stefan...you SO busted, chumley!!  That was specTACular when Caroline walked in with Old Rude Vampire Dude.  The look on Stefan's face.  YOWsa.

This security in Mystic Falls situation is somewhat...um...what's the word?  Oh yeah...RIDICULOUS.

OMGOMGOMG "She fell in love with Damon when she was still with Stefan."  And there stands Stefan right behind her.  FAIL!!!

"You're a dick!!" That...ruled.  And Stefan deserved it.

OMG this compel me bullshiz is getting old.  Why can't Elena just grow the frig up and deal with Damon's "death?"  What a coward!  Everyone else has to deal with loss...but noooo...not Elena.  She gets to just forget...again.

I love this back and forth stuff with Damon and Elena...it's so sad.  Which is awesome because that's when Damon's at his best.

LOL - the scenes for next week are hilarious: "Is that blood - or pie?"

New Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer

Can't TELL you how thrilled I am that Sam Taylor-Johnson seems to have done exactly what I'd hoped she would.  It appears she's made a beautiful film about a man with a troubled past...and an unlikely relationship...and not a trashy movie with lots of kinky sex.  I guess I should hold my "hear hear" until I see the film...but just the trailer, alone, has me beyond exited for Valentine's Day.