True Blood: Does Anybody Remember Laughter?

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up on True Blood as of July 14th. 

WTF.  This show has gone total outer limits.  Thank god for Eric Northman or I'd have opted out long ago.  Where's the comedy?  Where's the intrigue?  Where's the FUN?!?

How Stephen Moyer hasn't told them to eff off by now is beyond me.  Then again, he's got much more (stupid) storyline than he did in the books at this point...so I guess he's happy.  And he gets to remain on set with Anna Paquin and watch her make out with pretty much everyone on set.  (Haven't seen that yet this season?  Just wait.  It'll happen.  Clothing optional.)

OK so why do I continue to watch?  Because some of the things I *have* seen are just SO MUCH LIKE THE BOOKS and I can't help but love it.

I LOVE all the zooming around the vamps do.  It's perfect.  Here one minute - gone the next.  And
Eric flies.  That, alone, is worth all the huffing and puffing about boring Sam Merlot's storyline all night.

I am also digging the Pam/Eric storyline right now.  She's all "eff you - I hate you" but we all know she lives for him.  It's kindof like highschool boyfriends.  Tara's talents are completely wasted - up to this point.  What happened to the hilarity that girl used to bring to every show??  I am kindof liking her in the vamp camp though...and I like that went voluntarily with Eric.  Eric and Tara?  Together?  Helping each other out?  Now THAT is interesting.

Jessica is starting to scare me, too.  Lordddddddddd the whining.  She is whining about killing those fairies almost as much as Khaleesi whined about her dragons last season on Game of Thrones.  Shut the eff UP already!  And Bill is not your dad.  I was in SHOCK when he turned her away.  HE is a vampire, too!  You'd think boyfriend would realize it's OK to get it on with your progeny.  Hello?? Eric and Pam, much???

I don't know how to feel about the sortof hot/sortof not vamp, Warlow who killed Sookie's parents.  One minute I'm like "Does anyone now how this guy got this role?"  and the next I'm like "Oh.  THAT'S how he got this role.  Yum."

Let's tally, shall we?

Boring as hell: 
Sam / shifters
Alcide / wolves (even with the pecs)
Terry / Arlene
Andy / Andy's stupid, annoying fairy daughters (glad most of 'em are dead)
Bill

Jury's still out:
Tara
Sookie
Jessica
Lafayette (it PAINS ME OT SAY THAT.  GIVE the man a STORYLINE!)

The reason I watch: 
Eric
Pam
Jason (Thank god for Jason.  Seriously.  He's a constant.)
Steve Newlin's ex wife  (this woman is deliciously good at this role.)

I will continue to watch, just for scenes like Eric turning the governor's daughter.  That was somewhat new territory for True Blood.  Very sensual...yet sweet...with shades of Bill and Sookie's first encounter.

But I am hangin' by a thread.  Here's hoping SOMEONE on that production crew has read the books.

The Killing: A Ridiculously Innovative Show

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched Seasons 1 & 2 of The Killing (in the past week and a half!) 

Watched both seasons of The Killing...WOW.  What a whirlwind.  I recommend it highly.  You will spend 26 episodes on the edge of your seat.  Every week you think you know whodunnit...but you don't.  This show has more twists than Chubby Checker on an early 60's episode of Ed Sullivan.


I have been having fun checking out the actors that play these compelling characters.  What I find amusing/impressive is how much Joel Kinnaman transforms himself for this role.


I did a double take when I finally googled him after admittedly thinking "does this guy look like a total crackhead in real life, too??"

And then there is Mireille Enos.  Holy crap!  My husband and I are constantly doing "Sarah face" because she has this uncanny way of unnerving the hell out of us when she stares...or notices something no one else noticed and looks all freaky.  And the ponytails gets on my last nerve.  But WOW - girlfriend really cleans up well!

Now...I have to give you one MAJOR warning.  The Killing is not an easy show.  Not by a longshot.  For the first five or so eps, I didn't think I could make it through.  If you have kids...especially a daughter...you will have a hard time with this.  (That's not a spoiler; you know what's what in the first minute of the show.  It's called "The Killing" for a reason.)

If you like crime drama but are sick to death of the same old BS that's out there now (what's next, CSI Wichita Falls??) you should DEFINITELY try this show.  It went off the air for a short time because AMC didn't have the funds to keep it afloat.  But they got such backlash from fans, that they decided to beg Fox for money team up with Fox...and they brought it back.

They are now 4 episodes into Season 3 and I have every intention of catching up (after I watch the last two True Bloods.  Yawn.  I'm hearing last week's was boooooring...so something tells me tonight's won't be much better.)

Fill me in on your thoughts if you watch The Killing!

True Blood Season 6: Has Everyone Just Gone Total Outer Limits?

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched one episode of Season 6.  

Ugh.  True Blood.  What have they DONE to you?  In the words of my cousin and fellow True Blood reader/watcher Jenn D, "what a mess!"

The storylines are all over the place.  The actors seem like they're trying so hard to keep up.  I actually stopped paying attention a few times last night because I was bored.  BORED!  By TRUE BLOOD!!!  There was a day that would have been sacrilege.   Now it's just the sad truth.

Let's get down to brass tacks.  Do they want Bill to be Billith or don't they???  Is he going to be this scary-assed blood monster...or is he going to be...just...Bill?  With a better hairstyle and more of a "go to bed young lady" tone?  It makes ZERO sense.

I'm meltinggggggg...

Last season, we ended the finale with Bill screaming like a banshee while covered with placenta.  This season, he's all dressed up in his Brooks Brothers and taking a moment to reflect with the gang.  And don't get me wrong - I kindof DIG this new Bill...because Bill's only problem thus far has been his tendency to be a little wussy man.  But you can't just throw the fact that the man MELTED out the window and bring him back like the thrice married, twice removed cousin of the town harlot on Young and the Restless!  What is this, the Vampire Diaries for pete's sake?!?  BLECH.

OK moving on.  Sookie, Sookie and more Sookie.  I don't know...she's just so whiny and blah this season...and has been for about 3 seasons.  Geez - I'd rather see her take her ass over to Bill's in her white nightgown, a la Season 1...and do the shiz out of his placenta-wearing ass.  WHILE he's wearing the placenta!

I want to be with you.  No, Sookie. No,
you.  No, Hoyt.  Wait.  Where the eff
is Hoyt?  No, Jason.  No, you.  Def you. 

OK Jess...I love you...but do you have ANY loyalty to ANYONE...EVER???  First it's Bill...then it's Hoyt...then it's Jason...then last night when I got up to go to the bathroom, it was Sookie...and when I came back from the bathroom, it was Bill again.  WTF woman.  Make up your MIND.

Eric.  Lordddddd Eric.  Thank god for him because I don't think I could watch without him.  Now listen up, children...here are actually some good points about last night:

1)  LOVE that Eric is flying again.  And it's PERFECTION.  Just straight up.  The way he's supposed to.  Kudos.

2) LOVE that he's the Eric from the books who loves Sookie and is always there for her, but will walk away from her dumb ass whenever she gets uppity or needs some Sookie space.

You are not going to make me chase your
fuckin' ass all fuckin season now Eric,
are you?  Because I will. I fuckin' will.
Just say the fuckin word and I fuckin' will.

Pam - lordddddd Pam.  Could she have said "fuckin" one more time last night?  I'm thinking No.  Not that I care...but it was half her (boring, whiny) dialogue.  What happened to all her FUNNY?!?  And I feel bad for her because she's  like a beaten wife.  She needs to tell Eric to kiss her 40-something tight ass and ignore the shit out of him.  He'll come back in about 30 years or so.

Tara - ew - I HATE the Tara/Pam bullshit.  I would like them if they were just coy with each other once in a while or sitting in a booth at Merlots, giving each other knowing looks like in the books.  But this full on Mommy/Daughter, Maker/Makee freak show is just weirding me out.

Another pro coming:

I's is the only bitch all up in here who gits a BIG ASSED
picture at My Purgatory because I look goood and wear
orange and yellow like a mother fuckin', hot-ass bitch. 

THANK YOU LAFAYETTE!!!  I will say it again, he is one of the only reasons I keep watching.  I turned to my hubby last night and said "I wish I could hang with Lafayette when I'm sad...don't you?"  And he totally agreed.  They need to write all KINDS of new shit for him and give him a good storyline.  PRONTO.

OMG just get rid of the wolves.  All of them.  Kill 'em all and move on.  THAT'S how boring they are....even WITH Alcide's ass being in our faces all night.

Jason...oh poor Jason.  Please...PLEASE give this man something to do. I'd rather see him laying around half nekkid on the couch making stupid comments about the girl he banged last night.  Must we watch him run around like a commando again this season?  Just please make sure to make him funny.  Please.

Sam - OMG again - GIVE THIS MAN A STORYLINE that doesn't involve a pack of ANYTHING except gum.  Or beer.  That is IT!  I am SICK TO FREAKIN' DEATH OF WILD KINGDOM!!!

OK that's it for now.  I need to go cool down...

Game of Thrones Character Names...EXPLAINED!

OH my god I am laughing my ass off at this.  Thank you, JW!!!

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Finale. Really? That's it?

Whoa.  Kindof an anticlimactic episode after all the deaths last week.

OK this is going to seem a little choppy since I was typing it last night while watching...and there were more characters than on the entire run of The Simpsons, Cheers AND Mash combined.

Last night was totally Awesome Quote Sunday!

I'm only into drinking.  Joffrey is into
Fifty Shades of Grey...and then some.

LOVED Tyrion's line to Sansa..something like "What am I? Joffrey?"

"Any man who must say 'I am the King'..."  LOVED that line, even though it came from douchey Papa Lannister.

Do you want to write a song for the dead Starks?  Shit, I don't even remember who sait that...but that shit was funny.

Hubster and I were wondering why are they torturing the dude on the x...until his asshole father got the letter.  More in a few...

I love the hefty, monk-looking kid and his girlfriend with the baby.  "What I know is what I saw."  That's right buddy...you tell 'em.

Amusing conversation between myself and hubster:

I'm Mister White Christmas...
even though all the Starks are dead.

Me:  I don't even remember where The Starks are from...the north?  The south?
Hub: The north...they're from...
Me: Oh right...WINTERfell.  The north.  They're like the Snow Meiser.

"It's not easy being drunk all the time."  Oh holy hell I love that Tyrion.  Remind me to make my Tyrion/Arthur meme.

OMG JUST KILL THE STUPID REDHEADED BEOTCH PLEASE!  She's such a knowitall.  Just shut UP for the love of all that's holy in this world!!!  Shut...UP!

"People learn to love their chains." - GREAT LINE KHALEESI

So we don't know if Jon Snow is going to live (but we're pretty sure because...we're experiencing a major loss of hotties and his death would make things much worse.)  WHAT a bitch that redheaded Jan Brady is.  I hate her.  I hope she gets her ass kicked by someone fun like Baby Girl Stark or Khaleesi.

Don't let the girl thing fool you.  I have Madonna armor. 

How about the X Man's (can't remember his name) dad practically saying "eff him" and his sister

taking all the brutes to go save his dickless ass?  That ruled.

Who's up for a
little crowd surfing?

Khaleesi's on my last nerve…again.  

One minute she's all needy and "they hate me" and the next she's diving into the mosh pit of freshly freed slaves. 

OMG - Young Stark chick kicks ASS.  I love that kid. 

I think hot bastard Baratheon is going to hook up with Sansa and it's going to be an explosion of virgin love.  Then she'll get preggars and Tyrion's off the hook.  And how's about Tyrion's hooker girlfriend not taking the money?!?  I was so proud of her (although the new life the unic described sounded rather tasty.  An Tyrion could visit!)  

Wow - I think it's time for me to read these books.  Or at least the Cliff's Notes.  I'm horrendously confused...even if the show is completely delish. 

Boardwalk Empire: Season 4 Premiere Date

Boardwalk Empire season 4 premieres on Sunday, September 8th.  Woot!

In The Flesh: SO Much More Than a Zombie Show

Hi.  I'm Kieren and I'm adorbs.
So you can't hate me, dead or not.

SPOILER ALERT:  I've seen eps 1 & 2.

HOLY COW this is a good miniseries!  I cannot believe how many social issues they're covering!  I also can't BELIEVE Rick is such a little PANSY ASS PANSY.  Oh my god...just stand up to your douche of a father!  Although - I get it; he can't.  He just got home...and they never talked about him being gay in the first place...Oh my GOD this is SO American Beauty!!

I am so into this relationship between Kieren and Rick.  I think it's so sweet they way they built up to their seeing each other again.  As the Brits say, it was "lovely".  I was on the edge of my seat during that reunion in the "PDS section" of the club.  (Can't really call it a bar, now, can I?  It was like every Elks club or VFW hall you've ever seen.

And how about poor Kieren?!  He's just trying to keep everyone happy...to the extent of play-eating his mom's dinner (which reminds me of the mother in Better Off Dead..."Fronch bread...Fronch dressing)...and gets shit on at every turn!

And Kieren's sister?  I hated her at first...but now I totally understand her.  She's still angry at him for killing himself.  And she hasn't dealt with that yet.  And now she has to deal with his zombieness on TOP of that...AND her relationship with the HVF (which I now know means Human Volunteer Force.)

Hi, I'm Amy.  Thank God for me or
Kieren would still be home pretending
to eat his mom's home cooking

And his new friend?  Amy?  She is awesome because she just meets it all head-on.  The questions...the fear...the loathing (her own and the rest of the world's)...ALL of it.  She's SO good for Kieren.  I hope she sticks around.

I can't tell you how thought-provoking this show is.  I see EVERYONE'S point!  If I were them, I wouldn't want the rotters living in my town, either.  What if they don't take their meds and get rabid again??  BUT - what if one of them is your own flesh and blood??  Wow, you can equate this to so many different personal issues that go on in families, towns, communities...it's just unreal.

OK I'll stop pontificating now.  Just watch the damn show.  It packs a PUNCH in a VERY short amount of time.  You'll laugh, you'll cry...you'll feel every emotion.

Game of Thrones: Stark Raving Mad

SPOILER ALERT:  I have 1 episode left in Season 3!

Oh...how special.  Rob Stark is asking mummy's advice.  "Show them what it feels to lose what they love"???  WTF woman!  YOU'RE the one who sent Jaimie back!  You could've killed HIM! You could've shown CERSEA what it feels like!  (Not that my drooling ass would've wanted you to).

I don't care who the frig you
are.  Go fix me a turkey pot pie.

"I'm Mary."
"Fine".

ROFLMAO!

I LOVE the relationship between Dragon Lady and her #1 Ex Slave who is a leader now and gets a say in important matters.  The new hot dude isn't quite as hot as I thought he was.  Boyfriend needs to keep his mouth closed and get some braces over the HBO break.

I'm going to be mean to you as much
as I want because I'm young and cute. 

I also love the relationship between the youngest Stark and Burnface.  He talks a good game but he's
got a chivalrous streak and can't stand to disappoint her.  It's cute.  They need each other.  Even though she's pledged to put a sword through his eye and through the back of his skull and all.  Geez if I had a dime for every time I THAT to some big huge guy who could kill me...

Oooh damn - three cheers for Jon Snow!  Someone grew some BALLS during the two week HBO hiatus!  NICE!!!  But is he going to leave Jan Brady there with the red-heided possible Older Jamie Fraser?  Something tells me he's got more than good looks up his sleeve.  He'll be back.  And then Jan will give him a big, ol' can-o-WHOOPASS before she shags him again while telling him he's a loser.

I am way too important
to marry some heffer. 

OMG this wedding?  SHE'S adorable and HE'S an ass!  He's all worried about her looks...what a douche.  He doesn't deserve such a cutie pie!  And can someone explain to me who got married?  Who's the groom?  And who is the king-dad of the hot bride?

Wow that littlest Stark is adorable, isn't he?  I don't even remember hearing him talk before.  He's so Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Senese.  All I can hear is him saying "she said...EVERY day".

OMG WHAT is up with this bedding ceremony??? Are they all watching?!

I'mmm comin' Neddd!!!

Oh holy SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!  Ya know...I saw a spoiler about Rob Stark dying at a Lannister wedding.  But GEEZ.  I thought it would be Joffrey's.  So these are Lannisters?  WTF I can't keep it all straight.  And HOLY SHIT they kill Mama Stark?!?  THAT bums me out.  I really have to read these friggin books so I know what's going to happen.  I don't think I can take such a last minute heartache being dropped in my lap.

OMG I don't even know what to DO with myself.  And I was just starting to like Rob Stark and his hot, pregnant wife, too.  RATS.

I swear to god, if anyone touches my precious Tyrion...HEADS WILL ROLL!!!!!!

Dracula on NBC

I have absolutely no idea what to make of this.  None.  I'll tell you this:  Bram Stoker's Dracula with Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves was over-the-top bizarre.  And as much as I love Gary Oldman, I didn't find him sexy in that.  And as much as I LOVE Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I'm concerned that I'm not finding him all that sexy in this trailer.  And I found his ass sex-Y in The Tudors.  Hell I found him sexy in Bend it Like Beckham!  But this trailer isn't making me jump up and down.  Hmmm...

I will give it a chance and see what another trailer has to offer.  In the meantime...

Game of Thrones: Second Sons and Lots of Douchebaggery Goodness

Spoiler alert:  I am caught up on GOT - aka TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT in Season 3, y'all!

Yeah Khal.  I'm about to
do your wife. Any questions?  

WHAT the F.  That Titus Pullo clone who is being totally gross and disrespectful to Khaleesi really needs to die.  HOW revolting.  His hot companion is a different story entirely.  I have a feeling he's the new Mr Dragon Lady. 

They had better NOT kill this adorable little Baratheon bastard.  He's so cute.  I can see a future for that kid as long as he avoids the lady in red and her lamb-slaughtering henchmen. 

Ooooh it speaks!!!  He is HOT!!! Titus' buddy is smokin'!  Dragon lady will soooo sleep with him.

AHHHHH!!! Sansa is so lucky she's marrying Tyrion.  She just doesn't know it.  I love how he asked if she drank wine.  He's probably going to go back to his old ways and is about to consort heavily with The Drink.  He reminds me of Arthur.  "Marry {Sansa}...and cheat with the nobody from Queens." 

I just hate you because you're younger
and cuter than me.  Prepare for misery. 

Holy crap - Cersei scares the bejesus out of me.  Anne Boleyn better watch out.  She'll eat her liver with some fava beans...and a nice Chianti.  She's pure evil...just like her son. 

OMG THE WEDDING!!  And Joffrey's giving Sansa away!  Oh this poor girl!!!  This is like Princess Bride!  Where's Wesley?!  Where's the Giant?  Where's Inego Mantoya?

Joffrey...are you being a douche, YET
again?  Why yes...I believe you are.  

OMG Joffrey you dickity douchey douchebag!!!  He pulls the step stool away and his ASSHAT of a grandfather does NOTHING!!!  And whoa - is it me or does the priest look like Elvis?  What's with the porkchop sideburns?

BB aka Baratheon Bastard.  

OH geez - the lady in red who spews black powder monsters from her loins is all "you think I'm trying to poison you??"  No, bitch, I KNOW you're trying to poison me!   BB (Baratheon Bastard )  fight her!  Keep your eyes open!!!  Are the lambs still screaming????

OH SHIT - she's derobing him.  Yikes.  this poor guy is like "WTF - I'm just trying to live life and be the BB I am."  OMG she just hates keeping her clothes on, doesn't she??

"Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock" - greatest line of the night!  Ohhhh gramps.  You really have a way with evil, rudedog words.  

Oooh snap.  Khaleesi DOES have herself a new boy toy and he is cute!  Good thing he beheaded those assholes.  I couldn't stand one more second of Titus Pullo and his dirty mouth.  Even Orbit couldn't have saved that jackass.

WHAT was that scary assed thing that almost killed the adorable overweight kid and his babymama girlfriend???  That was one of the best scenes I've seen in a LONG time...on ANYTHING!