Game of Thrones: Season 3 Finale. Really? That's it?

Whoa.  Kindof an anticlimactic episode after all the deaths last week.

OK this is going to seem a little choppy since I was typing it last night while watching...and there were more characters than on the entire run of The Simpsons, Cheers AND Mash combined.

Last night was totally Awesome Quote Sunday!

I'm only into drinking.  Joffrey is into
Fifty Shades of Grey...and then some.

LOVED Tyrion's line to Sansa..something like "What am I? Joffrey?"

"Any man who must say 'I am the King'..."  LOVED that line, even though it came from douchey Papa Lannister.

Do you want to write a song for the dead Starks?  Shit, I don't even remember who sait that...but that shit was funny.

Hubster and I were wondering why are they torturing the dude on the x...until his asshole father got the letter.  More in a few...

I love the hefty, monk-looking kid and his girlfriend with the baby.  "What I know is what I saw."  That's right buddy...you tell 'em.

Amusing conversation between myself and hubster:

I'm Mister White Christmas...
even though all the Starks are dead.

Me:  I don't even remember where The Starks are from...the north?  The south?
Hub: The north...they're from...
Me: Oh right...WINTERfell.  The north.  They're like the Snow Meiser.

"It's not easy being drunk all the time."  Oh holy hell I love that Tyrion.  Remind me to make my Tyrion/Arthur meme.

OMG JUST KILL THE STUPID REDHEADED BEOTCH PLEASE!  She's such a knowitall.  Just shut UP for the love of all that's holy in this world!!!  Shut...UP!

"People learn to love their chains." - GREAT LINE KHALEESI

So we don't know if Jon Snow is going to live (but we're pretty sure because...we're experiencing a major loss of hotties and his death would make things much worse.)  WHAT a bitch that redheaded Jan Brady is.  I hate her.  I hope she gets her ass kicked by someone fun like Baby Girl Stark or Khaleesi.

Don't let the girl thing fool you.  I have Madonna armor. 

How about the X Man's (can't remember his name) dad practically saying "eff him" and his sister

taking all the brutes to go save his dickless ass?  That ruled.

Who's up for a
little crowd surfing?

Khaleesi's on my last nerve…again.  

One minute she's all needy and "they hate me" and the next she's diving into the mosh pit of freshly freed slaves. 

OMG - Young Stark chick kicks ASS.  I love that kid. 

I think hot bastard Baratheon is going to hook up with Sansa and it's going to be an explosion of virgin love.  Then she'll get preggars and Tyrion's off the hook.  And how's about Tyrion's hooker girlfriend not taking the money?!?  I was so proud of her (although the new life the unic described sounded rather tasty.  An Tyrion could visit!)  

Wow - I think it's time for me to read these books.  Or at least the Cliff's Notes.  I'm horrendously confused...even if the show is completely delish. 

Boardwalk Empire: Season 4 Premiere Date

Boardwalk Empire season 4 premieres on Sunday, September 8th.  Woot!

In The Flesh: SO Much More Than a Zombie Show

Hi.  I'm Kieren and I'm adorbs.
So you can't hate me, dead or not.

SPOILER ALERT:  I've seen eps 1 & 2.

HOLY COW this is a good miniseries!  I cannot believe how many social issues they're covering!  I also can't BELIEVE Rick is such a little PANSY ASS PANSY.  Oh my god...just stand up to your douche of a father!  Although - I get it; he can't.  He just got home...and they never talked about him being gay in the first place...Oh my GOD this is SO American Beauty!!

I am so into this relationship between Kieren and Rick.  I think it's so sweet they way they built up to their seeing each other again.  As the Brits say, it was "lovely".  I was on the edge of my seat during that reunion in the "PDS section" of the club.  (Can't really call it a bar, now, can I?  It was like every Elks club or VFW hall you've ever seen.

And how about poor Kieren?!  He's just trying to keep everyone happy...to the extent of play-eating his mom's dinner (which reminds me of the mother in Better Off Dead..."Fronch bread...Fronch dressing)...and gets shit on at every turn!

And Kieren's sister?  I hated her at first...but now I totally understand her.  She's still angry at him for killing himself.  And she hasn't dealt with that yet.  And now she has to deal with his zombieness on TOP of that...AND her relationship with the HVF (which I now know means Human Volunteer Force.)

Hi, I'm Amy.  Thank God for me or
Kieren would still be home pretending
to eat his mom's home cooking

And his new friend?  Amy?  She is awesome because she just meets it all head-on.  The questions...the fear...the loathing (her own and the rest of the world's)...ALL of it.  She's SO good for Kieren.  I hope she sticks around.

I can't tell you how thought-provoking this show is.  I see EVERYONE'S point!  If I were them, I wouldn't want the rotters living in my town, either.  What if they don't take their meds and get rabid again??  BUT - what if one of them is your own flesh and blood??  Wow, you can equate this to so many different personal issues that go on in families, towns, communities...it's just unreal.

OK I'll stop pontificating now.  Just watch the damn show.  It packs a PUNCH in a VERY short amount of time.  You'll laugh, you'll cry...you'll feel every emotion.

Game of Thrones: Stark Raving Mad

SPOILER ALERT:  I have 1 episode left in Season 3!

Oh...how special.  Rob Stark is asking mummy's advice.  "Show them what it feels to lose what they love"???  WTF woman!  YOU'RE the one who sent Jaimie back!  You could've killed HIM! You could've shown CERSEA what it feels like!  (Not that my drooling ass would've wanted you to).

I don't care who the frig you
are.  Go fix me a turkey pot pie.

"I'm Mary."
"Fine".

ROFLMAO!

I LOVE the relationship between Dragon Lady and her #1 Ex Slave who is a leader now and gets a say in important matters.  The new hot dude isn't quite as hot as I thought he was.  Boyfriend needs to keep his mouth closed and get some braces over the HBO break.

I'm going to be mean to you as much
as I want because I'm young and cute. 

I also love the relationship between the youngest Stark and Burnface.  He talks a good game but he's
got a chivalrous streak and can't stand to disappoint her.  It's cute.  They need each other.  Even though she's pledged to put a sword through his eye and through the back of his skull and all.  Geez if I had a dime for every time I THAT to some big huge guy who could kill me...

Oooh damn - three cheers for Jon Snow!  Someone grew some BALLS during the two week HBO hiatus!  NICE!!!  But is he going to leave Jan Brady there with the red-heided possible Older Jamie Fraser?  Something tells me he's got more than good looks up his sleeve.  He'll be back.  And then Jan will give him a big, ol' can-o-WHOOPASS before she shags him again while telling him he's a loser.

I am way too important
to marry some heffer. 

OMG this wedding?  SHE'S adorable and HE'S an ass!  He's all worried about her looks...what a douche.  He doesn't deserve such a cutie pie!  And can someone explain to me who got married?  Who's the groom?  And who is the king-dad of the hot bride?

Wow that littlest Stark is adorable, isn't he?  I don't even remember hearing him talk before.  He's so Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Senese.  All I can hear is him saying "she said...EVERY day".

OMG WHAT is up with this bedding ceremony??? Are they all watching?!

I'mmm comin' Neddd!!!

Oh holy SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!  Ya know...I saw a spoiler about Rob Stark dying at a Lannister wedding.  But GEEZ.  I thought it would be Joffrey's.  So these are Lannisters?  WTF I can't keep it all straight.  And HOLY SHIT they kill Mama Stark?!?  THAT bums me out.  I really have to read these friggin books so I know what's going to happen.  I don't think I can take such a last minute heartache being dropped in my lap.

OMG I don't even know what to DO with myself.  And I was just starting to like Rob Stark and his hot, pregnant wife, too.  RATS.

I swear to god, if anyone touches my precious Tyrion...HEADS WILL ROLL!!!!!!

Dracula on NBC

I have absolutely no idea what to make of this.  None.  I'll tell you this:  Bram Stoker's Dracula with Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves was over-the-top bizarre.  And as much as I love Gary Oldman, I didn't find him sexy in that.  And as much as I LOVE Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I'm concerned that I'm not finding him all that sexy in this trailer.  And I found his ass sex-Y in The Tudors.  Hell I found him sexy in Bend it Like Beckham!  But this trailer isn't making me jump up and down.  Hmmm...

I will give it a chance and see what another trailer has to offer.  In the meantime...

Game of Thrones: Second Sons and Lots of Douchebaggery Goodness

Spoiler alert:  I am caught up on GOT - aka TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT in Season 3, y'all!

Yeah Khal.  I'm about to
do your wife. Any questions?  

WHAT the F.  That Titus Pullo clone who is being totally gross and disrespectful to Khaleesi really needs to die.  HOW revolting.  His hot companion is a different story entirely.  I have a feeling he's the new Mr Dragon Lady. 

They had better NOT kill this adorable little Baratheon bastard.  He's so cute.  I can see a future for that kid as long as he avoids the lady in red and her lamb-slaughtering henchmen. 

Ooooh it speaks!!!  He is HOT!!! Titus' buddy is smokin'!  Dragon lady will soooo sleep with him.

AHHHHH!!! Sansa is so lucky she's marrying Tyrion.  She just doesn't know it.  I love how he asked if she drank wine.  He's probably going to go back to his old ways and is about to consort heavily with The Drink.  He reminds me of Arthur.  "Marry {Sansa}...and cheat with the nobody from Queens." 

I just hate you because you're younger
and cuter than me.  Prepare for misery. 

Holy crap - Cersei scares the bejesus out of me.  Anne Boleyn better watch out.  She'll eat her liver with some fava beans...and a nice Chianti.  She's pure evil...just like her son. 

OMG THE WEDDING!!  And Joffrey's giving Sansa away!  Oh this poor girl!!!  This is like Princess Bride!  Where's Wesley?!  Where's the Giant?  Where's Inego Mantoya?

Joffrey...are you being a douche, YET
again?  Why yes...I believe you are.  

OMG Joffrey you dickity douchey douchebag!!!  He pulls the step stool away and his ASSHAT of a grandfather does NOTHING!!!  And whoa - is it me or does the priest look like Elvis?  What's with the porkchop sideburns?

BB aka Baratheon Bastard.  

OH geez - the lady in red who spews black powder monsters from her loins is all "you think I'm trying to poison you??"  No, bitch, I KNOW you're trying to poison me!   BB (Baratheon Bastard )  fight her!  Keep your eyes open!!!  Are the lambs still screaming????

OH SHIT - she's derobing him.  Yikes.  this poor guy is like "WTF - I'm just trying to live life and be the BB I am."  OMG she just hates keeping her clothes on, doesn't she??

"Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock" - greatest line of the night!  Ohhhh gramps.  You really have a way with evil, rudedog words.  

Oooh snap.  Khaleesi DOES have herself a new boy toy and he is cute!  Good thing he beheaded those assholes.  I couldn't stand one more second of Titus Pullo and his dirty mouth.  Even Orbit couldn't have saved that jackass.

WHAT was that scary assed thing that almost killed the adorable overweight kid and his babymama girlfriend???  That was one of the best scenes I've seen in a LONG time...on ANYTHING!

ONCE Upon a Time: Season 2 Finale

Spoiler Alert:  I have finished Season 2.

YEY!  So happy Mr. Gold turned Lacey back into Belle.  That was so CUTE!  They were makin' out!  I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Gold kiss anyone before!

OK so they were standing together and my husband and I had the following exchange:

Hubby: Wasn't she more attractive in LOST?
Me:  Wasn't he more attractive in...everything else he's ever been in?

This show is getting out of control.  So now we have three worlds.  1) Storybrook...2) The Old World (whatever the heck it's called) and 3) Neverland.  Lordddddddddd I hope we don't run into Michael Jackson there.

I am concerned about all this Neverland crap.  They seem to be turning Peter Pan into a meany pie,
"Shadow" or not.  The Lost Boys (how appropriate) are mean, too.  I don't mind changing fairytales...but sheesh, people.  It's Neverland and Peter Pan.  Come on, now!  Maybe Peter Pan will show up next season and save the day.  THAT would be cool.

I have to admit that I'm underwhelmed at the Henry-stuck-in-Neverland story for next season.  Whatevs.  He'll end up having a grand old time and inviting people back to Storybrook for some of Regina's apple turnovers.

WHAT is with separating Gold and Belle??  Is there no one else in that town who can watch the store (which, apparently, from the looks of last night's sign shot, is a PAWN SHOP with a few antiques thrown in. Hmmm).  You mean they can't go grab one of the dwarfs or Red and say "Ummm...yeah...follow these directions, Chumley...we'll be back in a flash."

OK so not back until the fall.  Again - I'm oddly not very bothered by that.  Hoping they're not falling into a writing rut like LOST.  And I hope they bring Neil back.  He was cool.  And I miss Rene so much on True Blood; it was a weekly fix.

PS - Hook - you are HOT, dude.  Keep it up.

Game of Thrones: All Sorts of Cray Cray Happening Now

SPOILER ALERT:  I am current in Game of Thrones as of Sunday, May 12th. 

GO John Snow.  I knew he'd stand up for himself to the dude who tried to cut him loose.  John's been steadily growing a set since he got together with the furry people and Jan Brady.

OMG Rob Stark is thinking with NOTHING but his Johnson.  It's pathetic.  And his mother knows it.  And she knows he's going to get them all killed.

Oh lordddddddddd...Rob Stark's wife has a bun in the oven.  Even MORE to keep him from doing his job and thinking like a king.

Eeek...so the dude who almost killed John Snow and Jan Brady has a thing for Jan!  OutSTANDing!

Uh ohhhh...Sansa is pouring her heart out to Anne Boleyn from the Tudors...aka the future Mrs. Joffrey Borathean.  Who, PS, is AWESOME on pretty much any show she's on.  Thank God Sansa has her to talk to.  And I can't believe she admits what Joffrey did to her!  (Do we know exactly what he did to her?)

Great conversation between Tyrion and his right hand man:  "If you waste time trying to get people to love you you'll end up the most popular dead man in town."  I agree with the right hand man.  Tyrion wants Sansa...he just doesn't want to admit he wants Sansa.

I have a sneaking suspicion Joffrey is going to have his grandfather killed one day.  I'm just not sure when.

Ohhhh boy.  Khaleesi is about to steal s'more slaves.  NICE.

OMG I feel so bad for Tyrion's whore.  The poor thing.  And I was cheering her when she stood up for herself.  As much as I love myself some Tyrion Lannister, I'd have done the same thing.  She has to look out for herself...and he can't have his cake and eat it too.

On the Borathean bastard:

Hubby:  He's...he's...(then, simultaneously):
Hubby: The Full Monty's son.
Me:  Fred Flinstone's son.

LOL!! So funny.

OH MY GOD they're going to cut off ________ johnson!!!!!  Holy CRAP!  That scene was horrifying!!

And now Jan Brady is realizing that John Snow has zero intentions of going over the wall with her and her furry friends.  I thought she'd flip out on him...but instead...she jumped him!  That was tremendous!!!

Vampire Diaries: Elena, You Ignorant Slut

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up on Vampire Diaries as of today.  Next week is the season finale of season - crap - what season is this? LOL!

OH my god...I can't believe how completely ridiculous this show has gotten.

OMG Sooooo annoying. Somebody punch her, please. 

Matt is what, 17?  18?  And he's behind the bar, serving alcohol.  Is that even legal?  And then Rebecca grabs a bottle of...whatever...and walks away with it in the bar.  And these are supposed to be HIGH SCHOOL students! WTF?

And is this Vampire Diaries?  Or The Elena Show?  I am so sick of her, I don't know what to do.  And don't get me wrong; I like Nina Dobrev.  I think she's a cool chick.  I'll betcha SHE'S sick of Elena, too!

And OMG if one more person shows up and ends up to be Silas...UGH.  Gag.  It was cool early on...the first time or two...but now it's just a free-for-all and totally ridiculous.

OMG could ANYONE ELSE in this town be living for Elena?  It's SO annoying.

For the love of all that's holy, WHEN are
the producers going to let us make OUT?

There is only one thing that is cool right now:  ALARIC!!!!!!!  I have never been so happy to see a
really dead after so many fake deaths character in my life!  Isn't he adorable?!

And wait - if they don't get Rebecca and Matt together soon I'm going to scream.  I LOVE them...and he deserves to play something other than the Munsters' cousin Marilyn after all his loyal service all these years.

And...whoa...wait!  NOW we're getting somewhere!  Rebecca's old boyfriend from the cover of the Harlequin novel?!  YOWSA!  He's adorable in his Men In Tights ensemble!  LOVE!!  And the other vampire hunters are back, too.  Whoever writes this is ripping off so much shiz from Supernatural, it's not even funny.  And I gave up on that show after about 6 seasons...so I'm getting a little nervous about this one.

I have no good reason for including this photo, other than
they both look ridiculously hot in it.  So here it is.  Enjoy. 

BUT - it's amazing how this show can turn things around in ONE episode.  I started out miserable (see above) but now I think I can get behind some of these new story lines!

And PS - y'all should never have killed off Steve McQueen's hot grandson of the same name.  That kid is sorely missed.

Oh and another PS - if y'all think Bonnie is dead, you're fooling your damned selves.  She's died like 5 times already, too.

Game of Thrones: Ten Shows in One!

Spoiler Alert:  I'm caught up as of today. 

***NOTE:  Beware.  I started off this post with no recollection of newer character names.  I hope my descriptions suffice.

I'm so upset because I am running
out of things to be upset by.

OK...a few minutes in and trying to remember who the curly haired chick who can't skin a rabbit is?  Why don't I remember her?  And it's pretty surprising that they both obey listen to the little Stark kid.  Uh ohhhh...the Stark kid's young advisor and dreamer-at-large saw Jon Snow..."on the wrong side of the wall, he was surrounded by enemies."  DOH!  That's not good news now, is it??  I hope Jan Brady isn't going to sell John out again.

Oh for the love of god...speaking of Jon Snow - does he ALWAYS have to look so damned miserable?  Geez dude...you just got laid for god's sake...smile for a second, would ya?

Oooh Arya is learning to handle a bow so she can be even more badass when she gets older and rules.  Yup.  I said it.  She'll rule.  You saw it here first.  (LOL those of you who read the books are laughing at me right now, I'm sure.)

Ew.  This redheaded chick who springs forth black powder babies from her loins bugs the crap out of me.  And here she is - in a cave - with guys I'll call Dude 1 and Dude 2.  Dude 1 has really bad teeth and Dude 2 has one eye...and "dies all the time" according to my husband.  Uh oh...one-eyed Dude 2 says he's been to the other side and it's dark.  I'm thinking that shouldn't be a surprise to the red headed chick as she's a freakkkkkkkk of the devil.

Ooooh snap!  They took Arya's bud and Arya stood up to her and asked if he (Dude 1) was taking him because of the Lord of Light - or because of the redheaded beotch.  And the read headed beotch just said a bunch of jibberish to Arya's bud - and says she "sees darkness" in Arya.  Shiz.  Wait - more jibberish fron Red about different colored eyes that Arya will "shut forever".  WTF does that mean?  Ugh...I loathe her cryptic bullshit.  Arya should just kill her now so we can move this along and get back to Jaime Lannister (who doesn't seem to be making an appearance this evening, damnit!)

How long do you think you can stand
to see me hanging on this big, huge X? 

OH my god this Theon-tied-to-an-X thing is reallyyyyyy freaking me out.  I'm getting a little sick Please...cut it off!"
of all these freaks cutting off appendages on this show.  Geez - at least give me more than 2 weeks to recover before you start threatening to cut off a pinky.  And I love how no one bleeds to death.  They just soak their stump for a bit and everything works out OK.  Oh crap - he guessed that...fjddddddd!!!!!  Sorry...keyboard slip when the pinky business started.  SHIT - he BEGGED him to cut it off!  I thought "No way is he every going to beg him to cut it off" and BAM!  "

OK I think I need to go throw up now.  GOD this show is gross.

"The lords of my fists are about to compel your teeth."  ROFLMAO!  Best...line...ever!!!  That's the type of thing I'd say to my kids only it would be more like "The lords of my palm are about to compel your backside."  NOT that I ever follow through.  And they've realized this by now and laugh at me when I say things like that.  And then we all start laughing and I forget what I was annoyed at in the first place.

OK WAIT!!!!

What do you mean I can't go with Jaime??  But I'm in a dress!

SASQUATCH IN A DRESS!!! All dolled up with her hair did!  OMG, that RULES!  It was so surprising, it stopped me from getting all aflutter over Jaime Lannister showing up on screen.  Poor thing...trying to cut his meat with his left hand.  And if he can't do that, how's he going to learn how to use a sword?  Dang.  And DANG - did you see that subtle little hand touch when Sasquatch held up her knife.  OH yeah.  They're gonna do it.  It's only a matter of time.

"You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter, I assure you."  Another awesome line - this time by Olenna.

"True, we don't tie ourselves in knots over a discreet bit of buggery..."  OMG I love this woman.

HOLY Crap.  Apparently one little pick ax can topple a whole mountain.  I thought that was IT for

I'm just pissed because I don't have a
girlfriend who looks like Jan Brady.

Jan Brady.  Seriously.  I never thought she'd make it up that mountain after the crack heard round the 7 kingdoms.  And you knowwwwww this is not over between Jon Snow and that ugly dude who cut the rope.  Not by a longshot.  We'll be seeing this come up again.  I hope John grows a set and kills that ass.

Sansa is all excited about her wedding...and the Tyrell dude is all excited about wearing her dress after she takes it off.  LOL

Holy SHIT SHIT SHIT...Tyrion is going to tell Sansa that he has to marry her...but his girlfriend/ho is in the room and won't leave!  SHIT!!!!  OMG here it comes.  "This is awkward."  ROFLMAO.  SHIT and they leave us there!  NOooooo!!!

Ew.  Joffrey is just disgusting.  Seriously.  Just gross.  Someone should hang him upside down and tickle his feet until he squeals like the little baby he is.  What a loser.  And Cersea is his mother...so you know she's as evil as they come for rearing such a shitty little bastard.

"Sansa, don't you know how lucky you
are?  I am the hottest bad boy to come
down the pike since Neil Patrick Harris!"

DOH!  Tito, get Sansa a tissue.  She's upset that she has to marry Tyrion, which tells me m'girl is CRAY CRAY because I would HIT THAT like nobody's business.  And is it me or does Tyrion's girlfriend/ho seem more pissed than upset?  I love her - I really wish they could be together out in the open.  Never say never.

OH boy. Jon Snow, you ignorant slut!  Nahhhh he's adorable.  I'm glad he's finally adopted this "eff it - I don't care" attitude about kissing his girl on top of the mountain.  Even if she does look like the movie Jan Brady.

Next week scenes:  Oh NO!  Jamie is leaving Sasquatch!  Oh good - Khaleesi.  EEEK...so much going on next week, I can't keep up!  They are getting to this point where almost everyone is in every episode.  Holy crap - it's like a highly concentrated hit of character goodness every week!