Vampire Diaries: Goodbye to You

SPOILER ALERT:  The following are my thoughts whilst watching episode 11, "500 Years of Solitude."

Wanna shag me gone?

KLAUS!!! OH MY GOD! He's here!  With Caroline!!! In the woods!  Didn't see THAT one coming!!!

"In a shocking twist, Katherine's daughter's a psychopath."  ROFLMAO!  Damon is so friggin' funny, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'd like a book of nothing but Damon's one-liners.  Think someone can make that happen over at the CW?  Let me know.  Thanks.

WOW Klaus and Caroline getting BUSY in the woods!  This is outSTANDing!!!  I've wanted these two together since his hot, douchey ass first told her he dug her.  I love the angst, too.  "Ummm...OK so I'm going to give you the bestest, hottest, up-against-a-tree sex that you've ever had....and then you're never going to see me again, mmmkayyyy?  Great."

Shiz - is Katherine really dying?? Seriously?  C'mon now.  She's one of my favorite characters.  Her bitchiness just rounds out Elena's whineyness soooo nicely.

"Get out, Elena."  I just said that.  *I* did.  Me.  On my couch.  That just popped right the hell out m'mouth.  OUT LOUD.  Just take your skinny, immature ass right back out the door and let Katherine die with a shred of dignity, please.  We all know you're perfect and she's the devil.  Got it.  Now go.

I'm not giving blood!
Just stick it in my arm!  

Ummm...OK so when did Elena become a phlebotomist?  Oh right...it was only a shot.  She's just so good at so many things...it's hard to keep track!  What's next?  Astro-Physicist?

Oh SNAP...Katherine's Elena!!  NICE!!  Didn't see THAT one coming, either! (Seems to be the phrase of the night!)  OK so it looks like SOMEbody's been watching Once Upon a Time and wanted to try out the old person-switcheroo.  THIS is tasty as hell as storylines go.  Think about it.  Elena's going to come close to being buried...and Katherine's going to go schtup the shit out of Damon.  I think I LOVE this!!  Wait - maybe she'll dump Damon and hook up with Stefan again (because we all know he'd be slightly more AWESOME in bed than Damon.)  ;)

And lastly...Stefan.  I'm sorry...but I can't stand watching him be all nice to Damon about Elena.  Um, EW!  He totally got the short end of that relationship stick.  Or did he?  Actually - he made out pretty well as he's NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH ELENA'S WHINING ANYMORE!!!

OMG and how about all the dead people showing up in this episode???  ALARIC!!!

Be still my heart!!!  It was like being blinded by a thousand rising suns.  (Yes.  I do love Alaric and my life would be more COMPLETE if the CW didn't feel the need to OFF HIM.)  ;)

Vampire Diaries: Oh for the Love of All that's Holy - Someone Punch Elena, Please

Wahhhhh!  Wahhhhh!

Are you kidding me?  TALK ABOUT SELF CENTERED. WHAT is with throwing the ring into the lake?!  Even if Little Miss Whine and Moan wanted to kill herself, she didn't have to ditch the ring!  Someone else could use it, right?

I have had about as much as I can take of Elena and her stupid whining.  And now she's fucking EVERYTHING up.  Stefan dumped her but really she dumped him.  And now she's going to go do the nasty with Damon.  And you know what?  He's going to dump her.  And I won't feel the LEAST bit sorry for her dumb ass.  What kind of an ASS wedges herself between brothers like that?!  UGH!  I can't even believe she's going to go after Damon now.  WHAT a self-centered beotch. 

How do you dump THIS?!

Poor Stefan.  Who is he going to date now?  Maybe the producers over at the CW are going to set him up with his wife (the doctor) so they can have both couples together on the show.  That's pretty pathetic...but you never know. 

JPC = Just Plain Cute

Um, I'm sorry, but is Matt extremely hot?  Yes...yes he is. 

And Jeremy.  He's a sorry sonofabitch but he's a cute one, yeah?

And OMG don't you want Caroline and Klaus to get together?  They are going to ROCK!!!  I love that she hates him but she secretly loves him.  And he is such a bad boy but he'd stop time for her (and knowing him, he probably has a machine that will do that.) 

Listen to me! LOL!  You would never know I wasn't 14.  I really need Breaking Bad to come back so I can feel like I watch grown-up shows again.  ;)